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Book Review- UnFu*k YOURSELF

Change starts within you.  That is the premise of this book.  There are some great takeaways from this book.  One of which is that it IS the power of the mind to be unconquerable.  We are wired to win, and we win at what we want to win at.  The only way to do this is to not be bothered by what others think about us.  We must be willing to be judged by others and not let it get to us and in the end embrace the uncertainty in what lies ahead.  If we can become comfortable with uncertainty, we will be able to adapt to the uncertainty much more easily.  I firmly believe in the message of this book and it is executed well, although, perhaps more examples to illustrate the points would have been welcomed.  Overall, I give this book 4 stars.

Mediation and Arbitration

Mediation and Arbitration
We get a lot of questions about arbitration and mediation.  There are many differences between arbitration and mediation.  One difference is that arbitration is binding while mediation is an agreement between the parties and is not binding or enforceable unless and until the agreement is made an order of the court. 
In arbitration, a third party or panel made up of several individuals, hears both parties’ arguments and makes a binding decision.  Usually, arbirtration is used because there is a clause in a contract requiring it.  It is most often used in a business setting where “thoughts” and “feelings” are not a factor. 
Mediation is usually used in family law matters or matters involving relationships, relatives, and parties that will have to work together after the court case is over.  Mediation is often chosen over a trial in in family law cases because there is a general aversion to having decisions mandated by a court.
When parties go into mediation, they are not required to have an attorney; however, attorneys are allowed to be present.  When deciding whether to retain counsel, you should keep in mind a few things:
1) The mediator is not interested in finding a fair solution- the mediator is interested in finding a solution the parties can agree upon.  You may be thinking: “Well, if the parties agree, then the agreement must be fair.”  Not necessarily.  If the power between the parties is not balanced, if one party is more educated, if one party has greater knowledge of their rights, or even if one party is just not able to stand strong when faced with pressure from the other party, then the agreement may not be fair.  You must keep in mind that you are in mediation with someone you have an existing relationship with, those patterns of behavior have already been established and will continue through the mediation. 
2) The only way to reduce the risk of having the standards of the relationship dictate the outcome of mediation is to show up to mediation with counsel.  Having an attorney present can be helpful because the attorney can provide information on what the court might do if it were making the decision.  The only way you are going to know what the court would do, is if you have counsel. 
3) Having counsel present is not only going to help you but it will also help the other side.  Once you have the knowledge regarding what a court might do, you are able to make better decisions regarding where to compromise and where to stand your ground.
4) Do not simply ask the other party what he/she wants, you must ask “Why do you want that.”  Often times you can satisfy their “why” without giving them what they originally asked for (this is really important if they are asking for something that you want as well).  You should also use this line of thinking when you are negotiating and asking for certain compromises.  If you can satisfy your “why” without taking something they are going to fight for, both parties will be satisfied.
The attorneys at our firm are in the process of becoming trained mediators and look forward to offering this service to clients in 2018.

Top 10 Videos of 2017, #6: Are Retirement Benefits Considered Marital Property In Kentucky?

Top 10 Videos of 2017, #6: Are Retirement Benefits Considered Marital Property In Kentucky?

Daryle C. Tibbs, owner of Tibbs Law Office, continues a new series reviewing the top ten videos of 2017.

For more online sources on this and similar topics, please visit our firm youtube channel at:

www.youtube.com/tibbslawoffice

www.youtube.com/tibbslawofficeKentucky

Tibbs Law Office, LLC
1329 East Kemper Rd. #4230
Cincinnati, OH 45246
(513) 793-7544
www.tibbslawoffice.com

Getting a second divorce, from the same person

Getting divorced for the second time…from the same person

As you might imagine this isn’t a very common problem.  Not many people get married to the same person twice.  Pamela Anderson married and divorced Rick Salomon twice.  Elizabeth Taylor married and divorced Richard Burton twice.  Richard Pryor married two of his wives two times.   For those facing this situation, there is very little information on this topic.  So I decided to provide some information.

Someone in this situation is going to have several questions, here are the (Ohio) answers to some of the questions we are asked:
1) Are the children, which were born during the first marriage, considered children of the second marriage?  Generally, yes.  Another example of this is where a couple is unmarried, has a child, then gets married, then gets divorced.  Even though the child was born before the marriage, the child is still considered “issue of the marriage.”

2) Will child support and custody be re-litigated?  Generally, yes.  At the conclusion of the first divorce, the court issued an order regarding custody and support.  When the parties remarried, that support (and custody) entry ceased being effective either because the court terminated the original order (the obligor does not have to continue to pay child support if the parties remarry) or because the court issued a new order after the remarriage.  In the second divorce, the court will issue a new child support order that will be based on the current status of the parties’ employment.  The court will also issue a new custody order that is likely to be the same as the order issued in the first divorce but may be different.

3) Will the parties re-litigate the division of property?  Generally, no; however, one of the factors that will impact this is how much time occurred between the first and second divorce.  Generally, the division of property that took place in the original divorce will still stand.  For example, if the court granted the martial residence to one of the parties, that party still gets to keep the home and that decision will not be revisited by the court.  The court will, however, divide any newly acquired property, if the parties have any.

Hopefully, this answers many of the questions you have about this topic.  

Top 10 Videos of 2017, #8: What Is A Divorce From Bed And Board?

Top 10 Videos of 2017, #8: What Is A Divorce From Bed And Board?

Daryle C. Tibbs, owner of Tibbs Law Office, continues a new series reviewing the top ten videos of 2017.

For more online sources on this and similar topics, please visit our firm youtube channel at:

www.youtube.com/tibbslawoffice

www.youtube.com/tibbslawofficeKentucky

Tibbs Law Office, LLC
1329 East Kemper Rd. #4230
Cincinnati, OH 45246
(513) 793-7544
www.tibbslawoffice.com

Top 10 Videos of 2017, #9: How Can I Increase My Chances Of Getting A More Favorable Agreement In Kentucky?

 

Top 10 Videos of 2017, #9: How Can I Increase My Chances Of Getting A More Favorable Agreement In Kentucky?

Daryle C. Tibbs, owner of Tibbs Law Office, continues a new series reviewing the top ten videos of 2017.

For more online sources on this and similar topics, please visit our firm youtube channel at:

https://www.youtube.com/tibbslawoffice

https://www.youtube.com/tibbslawofficeKentucky

Tibbs Law Office, LLC
1329 East Kemper Rd. #4230
Cincinnati, OH 45246
(513) 793-7544
www.tibbslawoffice.com

 

Top 10 Videos of 2017, #10: What If My Spouse Denies That The Marriage Is Irretrievably Broken?

Top 10 Videos of 2017, #10:  What If My Spouse Denies That The Marriage Is Irretrievably Broken?

Daryle C. Tibbs, owner of Tibbs Law Office, begins a new series on the Top 10 Videos of 2017.

For more online sources on this and similar topics, please visit our firm YouTube channel at:

www.youtube.com/tibbslawoffice

www.youtube.com/tibbslawofficeKentucky

Tibbs Law Office, LLC
1329 East Kemper Rd. #4230
Cincinnati, OH 45246
(513) 793-7544
www.tibbslawoffice.com

Kentucky Family Law: What Does It Mean To Have An Irretrievable Breakdown?

Kentucky Family Law: What Does It Mean To Have An Irretrievable Breakdown?

Daryle C. Tibbs, owner of Tibbs Law Office, continues a new series reviewing Kentucky family law.

For more online sources on this and similar topics, please visit our firm youtube channel at:

www.youtube.com/tibbslawoffice

www.youtube.com/tibbslawofficeKentucky

Tibbs Law Office, LLC
1329 East Kemper Rd. #4230
Cincinnati, OH 45246
(513) 793-7544
www.tibbslawoffice.com

Domestic Relations Law: What is an annulment?

Domestic Relations: What is an annulment?

Daryle C. Tibbs, owner of Tibbs Law Office, continues a new series dedicated to the topic of Domestic Relations Law.

For more online sources on this and similar topics, please visit our firm youtube channel at:

www.youtube.com/tibbslawoffice

www.youtube.com/tibbslawofficeKentucky

Tibbs Law Office, LLC
1329 East Kemper Rd. #4230
Cincinnati, OH 45246
(513) 793-7544
www.tibbslawoffice.com

Royal Prenup

If you are anything like me, you were glued to your television this morning, to catch a glimpse of the royal bride before you headed off to work.  It has been reported that Will and Kate did not sign a prenup before getting married.  Although I would recommend a prenup for most couples (Crystal and Hef), I don’t necessarily think a prenup for Will and Kate is essential, especially considering the laws in Great Britain.  While prenups are common in the states, they are not nearly as common in Britain.  Although prenups carry some weight, they are not 100% binding in Britain. 
Prenuptuals are all about bargaining power.  Once the royal couple got engaged, the only bargaining power each of them had, was their willingness to walk away from the marriage; something that neither of them were likely to do considering the short length of their engagement and the media coverage surrounding the wedding.  If you aren’t willing to walk away, you don’t have any power because you will do whatever it takes to get to the wedding day.   Perhaps Will realized that he was already asking Kate to give up her life as she knows it and it would be too much to ask her to decide how much that was worth right now. 
The difference between Will and Kate and the rest of us commoners is this:  Will and Kate are both very wealthy at a young age, whereas the rest of us are not so lucky.  Our society tends to view prenuptial agreements as something only the wealthy do.  That should not be the case.  One purpose of a prenuptial agreement is to predetermine how assets would be divided and support would be ordered in the event of a divorce.  However, prenuptial agreements also serve a very important second function: to declare assets that are already acquired as pre-marital assets.  Sometimes attorneys spend more time trying to determine what each of the parties had prior to the marriage (or the value of their assets) than they do trying to figure out what to do with what was acquired during the marriage (this is actually a very simple equation- you divide marital assets equally).  
One of the factors that should be considered when having a prenuptial agreement prepared is age.  The younger you are when the prenuptial agreement is being drafted, the less ability you have to foresee what you might need in the future, especially if other circumstances change.  For example, Will and Kate might have a difficult time negotiating what they may need if they divorce because they do not yet have children and they do not know how much time they are planning for (they do not know how long the marriage may last).
To be enforceable, both parties must fully disclose their financial picture, and the agreement must be entered into without coercion by either party.  Each party should seek separate counsel to advise them on their rights when contemplating a prenuptial agreement, in fact, our office will not participate in drafting or reviewing a prenuptial agreement unless the other party is also represented by counsel.  And remember, you only have as much power as your willingness to walk away.