In this video, Daryle C. Tibbs gives a review of the book, Crazy Time by Abigail Trafford.
This book goes through approximately 48 statements and discusses whether those statements are True or false. Most of these are common sense; however, some of these discussions are helpful. Sometimes you can tell by the way the statement is worded. Absolute wording usually signifies that the statement is a delusion. The most helpful discussions for me personally were about center of influence and where to get the best referrals. The general advice given in this book is that the obvious choice is not always the best referral source. This book talks about the difference between visibility, credibility and profitability and how to focus the visibility and credibility to result in profitability. You cannot move on to the next stage in the relationship with another unless the other person is also ready to move into the next stage with you. The number one trait of master networkers is that they follow up on referrals given. Also, the most important concept to remember is that you should treat referrals the way they want to be treated, not the way you want to be treated. This is something that I need to work on personally. The key to this advice is figuring out how someone wants to be treated. The only way to find this out is by getting to know the referral source and asking key questions that will provide insight into their values. Because I felt this book offered me little that I did not already know or that wasn’t common sense, I give this book 3 stars.
I highly recommend this book to people in the early stages of learning about the divorce that is barreling down the highway towards them. Crazy time, as the title suggests, acknowledges the craziness that can be divorce. This book focuses on the different stages of the process and the different ways for dealing with those stages. All of this is written through the lens of the author that describes the final days of, what she now acknowledges as the end of her marriage. This book is especially important for someone that has had very little experience with divorce, which we may believe can be very few people anymore that have not experienced divorce; however, people have a tendency and an ability to refuse to believe that this could ever happen to them. This is for those people. If they have blinders on when speaking to friends about their divorce, they probably have blinders on in their own marriage. The best part about this book is that before wrapping up, it acknowledges the good that comes out of marriages ending. This is important to me because this is one of the things I enjoy about my job. I get to see the transition from scared and weak to strong and ready for the change. This book presents the greener pastures beautifully. I would give this book five stars.
Clients often come to me before they have told anyone what they are going through, and that includes their children. Clients often ask me how to have the divorce discussion with their children. My answer is that it depends how old their children are and what the maturity level of their children is. One option is to begin introducing the idea of divorce through books. Two Homes is one such book that could be used to introduce the idea of divorce to young children. The books states that it is for children 3-7 (on the back) but I would argue that it is actually for the younger end of that spectrum. The book is very basic and could be used for a younger or less mature audience. Maybe 3-5 years old. The book revolves around Alex, presumably an only child and uses basic one-liners to show how things are different at each of his parent’s homes but it puts a positive spin on the fact that he has two of everything because he has two homes. At the end it emphasizes that he loves both of his parents and both of his parents love him. If both parents are committed to having an amicable separation and divorce, this could be a great book to introduce the changes the child will experience. My only hesitation would be that this book paints an ideal picture of what it will look like, which, if both parents aren’t committed to making it a smooth transition, this book might set the child’s expectations too high. But with this age group, I am not sure you have many alternatives because you definitely want to make every child feel comfortable and safe. I rate this book 4 ½ stars and I would suggest this book for children on the younger end of the age spectrum.
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