Clients often come to me before they have told anyone what they are going through, and that includes their children. Clients often ask me how to have the divorce discussion with their children. My answer is that it depends how old their children are and what the maturity level of their children is. One option is to begin introducing the idea of divorce through books. Two Homes is one such book that could be used to introduce the idea of divorce to young children. The books states that it is for children 3-7 (on the back) but I would argue that it is actually for the younger end of that spectrum. The book is very basic and could be used for a younger or less mature audience. Maybe 3-5 years old. The book revolves around Alex, presumably an only child and uses basic one-liners to show how things are different at each of his parent’s homes but it puts a positive spin on the fact that he has two of everything because he has two homes. At the end it emphasizes that he loves both of his parents and both of his parents love him. If both parents are committed to having an amicable separation and divorce, this could be a great book to introduce the changes the child will experience. My only hesitation would be that this book paints an ideal picture of what it will look like, which, if both parents aren’t committed to making it a smooth transition, this book might set the child’s expectations too high. But with this age group, I am not sure you have many alternatives because you definitely want to make every child feel comfortable and safe. I rate this book 4 ½ stars and I would suggest this book for children on the younger end of the age spectrum.
Change starts within you. That is the premise of this book. There are some great takeaways from this book. One of which is that it IS the power of the mind to be unconquerable. We are wired to win, and we win at what we want to win at. The only way to do this is to not be bothered by what others think about us. We must be willing to be judged by others and not let it get to us and in the end embrace the uncertainty in what lies ahead. If we can become comfortable with uncertainty, we will be able to adapt to the uncertainty much more easily. I firmly believe in the message of this book and it is executed well, although, perhaps more examples to illustrate the points would have been welcomed. Overall, I give this book 4 stars.